My Issue with the "50 Shades of Grey" Phenomenon

If you haven't heard of of book "50 Shades of Grey," or the highly anticipated Valentine's Day premiere of the movie, you may live under a rock. It has completely taken over, selling over 100 million copies. Some argue that it's "really well written," but I doubt that's the only reason for its success. We know that sex sells. You can't go to the mall or watch tv or look at a magazine without being bombarded by highly sexualized advertising. We have turned sex into something that is almost somewhat of a game. I can guarantee that when God designed sex, this isn't what he had in mind for it to turn into. Now before I go any further and give specific details as to why this whole "50 Shades" thing bothers me so much, let's clear something up. It's not because I hate sex, or think that we should all just have terrible, boring sex lives. In fact, I actually really enjoy sex (yep, I'm getting personal but it's to prove a point). I think sex should be great, fun, hot, passionate, etc, and I also believe it should be all of these things within the confines of marriage. I'm not going to sit here and say that I waited until I was married to have sex, because I didn't, but I have also learned in my five years of marriage why it's so important to keep sex as the holy act that it is. Sex was designed, by God, to be in marriage for a reason. He created marriage to serve as a model of his love for his church. We should be treating our spouses with the same love that God has for us. When we choose to say "I do," we are committing to that person, just as Christ has committed to us. He will never leave us, even if we decide to do something against him. His love is unconditional. I think that's why God created sex to be in marriage. If we strived for our marriages to model Christ, instead of striving for them to make us happy, what better picture than sex to represent how Christ wants his relationship with us to be. He wants us to be completely committed, completely vulnerable, he wants us to have the highest level of intimacy with him, and he doesn't want us to be self-seeking. It is so sad what our society has turned sex into. Something that is supposed to be beautiful and pure has been turned into something so absolutely disgusting and dirty. Here's my big issue with "50 Shades." It has taken this holy act and turned it into something that is the exact OPPOSITE of holy. It's actually glorifying it, and people are buying into it. In this book and soon to be movie, sex is simply a game. What can I physically get out if it? How can I make myself feel good? It is completely about "self." In 1 Corinthians, some of the ways that love is described are, "patient, kind, not self seeking, never gives up, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." Absolutely NONE of these things are what the relationship in "50 Shades" stand for. As women, aren't these the kinds of things we want when it comes to a relationship and sex? I know I do. I want someone who is kind, patient, not selfish, and will never give up on me. What message are we sending men when we support and even glorify the relationship we see in this specific book and movie? Whether we know it or not, we are sending the message that this is a way that we would like to be treated, that we want to be treated like an object for their sexual pleasure. After all, we are spending our time and money to read and watch it, aren't we? How many women, who are reading this book and watching this movie would feel good about themselves if their husbands were watching porn? The storyline of this book seems much less like a romantic endeavor and much more like mainstream porn. Rem and I went to the movies a few weeks ago and the preview for "50 Shades" came on and if I hadn't known what it was, I would have honestly thought that they were playing porn on the big screen. When did this become okay? Porn is absolutely destroying marriages around the world and here we are, paying our hard earned money to read and watch it. Women, whom I'm sure oppose their husbands watching porn, are going to go out with their girlfriends and watch porn. I don't care if it isn't labeled as "porn," but I don't know what else to call it, because that's exactly what it sounds/looks like to me. Why are we sending the message that this is okay? I don't know any mother out there who would want her daughter to be treated like a mans sexual object, yet there are millions of people (mothers included. Why do you think it's been dubbed "mommy porn") buying this book (and eventually watching the movie.) Whether you like it or not, you are supporting the idea that it's okay for a man to treat a woman like this. You are supporting the idea that this is what sex should be like. You are supporting the idea that sex is purely a physical act meant for ones own pleasure. I don't know about you, but I want nothing to do with supporting that. I want to support sex for what God made it to be. Why are we sitting idly or even worse, buying into the idea that "it isn't hurting anything to read/watch this," because it is. It is ruining what sex could be, SHOULD be, and I'm sick of it! We are trading in something that is meant to bring joy and be an amazingly bonding experience for a cheap, dirty version of itself. I'm not sure about you, but if my husband were to give me a five carat diamond ring from Tiffany's and then take it away and try to convince me that the fake diamond ring from the dollar store was just as good because it is "still a ring," I would feel a little cheated. This is how I feel about what society has done to sex. They have tried to convince us that the fake diamond ring (pre-marital, only about the physical, sex) is just as good, if not better than, the real diamond ring (holy, God ordained sex), and for some crazy reason, we believe them. If someone gave you a fake diamond ring and tried to convince you it was just as good as the real thing, you would throw it back in their face and tell them how wrong they are, so why aren't we doing this when it comes to sex? We are settling for the cheap version and convincing ourselves that it is the greatest thing on earth. I can tell you from experience that having sex for the reasons the world says is nothing compared to having sex according to Gods will. So I'm begging you, if you have read this book and are planning on seeing this movie, PLEASE don't support the worlds view of what sex should be. Realize that ,yes, sex is awesome and amazing and hot and passionate but it's not awesome and amazing and hot and passionate in this context. If you aren't married, don't fool yourself into thinking that the worlds view of sex is the right view. If you are married, don't fool yourself into thinking that there is no harm in watching this. There IS harm, because you are helping fuel the fire that says "married sex, the way God ordained, doesn't matter." I wish more women would stand up and say, "I won't support the objectifying of women by reading/watching this book/movie." I'm just so sick of seeing sex turned into something it was never meant to be and the cheapening of something that can be so amazing. There's my rant. I'm sure I offended some people but oh well, I'm sick of so many women buying into the "50 Shades of Grey," phenomenon.