My Issue with the "50 Shades of Grey" Phenomenon

If you haven't heard of of book "50 Shades of Grey," or the highly anticipated Valentine's Day premiere of the movie, you may live under a rock. It has completely taken over, selling over 100 million copies. Some argue that it's "really well written," but I doubt that's the only reason for its success. We know that sex sells. You can't go to the mall or watch tv or look at a magazine without being bombarded by highly sexualized advertising. We have turned sex into something that is almost somewhat of a game. I can guarantee that when God designed sex, this isn't what he had in mind for it to turn into. Now before I go any further and give specific details as to why this whole "50 Shades" thing bothers me so much, let's clear something up. It's not because I hate sex, or think that we should all just have terrible, boring sex lives. In fact, I actually really enjoy sex (yep, I'm getting personal but it's to prove a point). I think sex should be great, fun, hot, passionate, etc, and I also believe it should be all of these things within the confines of marriage. I'm not going to sit here and say that I waited until I was married to have sex, because I didn't, but I have also learned in my five years of marriage why it's so important to keep sex as the holy act that it is. Sex was designed, by God, to be in marriage for a reason. He created marriage to serve as a model of his love for his church. We should be treating our spouses with the same love that God has for us. When we choose to say "I do," we are committing to that person, just as Christ has committed to us. He will never leave us, even if we decide to do something against him. His love is unconditional. I think that's why God created sex to be in marriage. If we strived for our marriages to model Christ, instead of striving for them to make us happy, what better picture than sex to represent how Christ wants his relationship with us to be. He wants us to be completely committed, completely vulnerable, he wants us to have the highest level of intimacy with him, and he doesn't want us to be self-seeking. It is so sad what our society has turned sex into. Something that is supposed to be beautiful and pure has been turned into something so absolutely disgusting and dirty. Here's my big issue with "50 Shades." It has taken this holy act and turned it into something that is the exact OPPOSITE of holy. It's actually glorifying it, and people are buying into it. In this book and soon to be movie, sex is simply a game. What can I physically get out if it? How can I make myself feel good? It is completely about "self." In 1 Corinthians, some of the ways that love is described are, "patient, kind, not self seeking, never gives up, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." Absolutely NONE of these things are what the relationship in "50 Shades" stand for. As women, aren't these the kinds of things we want when it comes to a relationship and sex? I know I do. I want someone who is kind, patient, not selfish, and will never give up on me. What message are we sending men when we support and even glorify the relationship we see in this specific book and movie? Whether we know it or not, we are sending the message that this is a way that we would like to be treated, that we want to be treated like an object for their sexual pleasure. After all, we are spending our time and money to read and watch it, aren't we? How many women, who are reading this book and watching this movie would feel good about themselves if their husbands were watching porn? The storyline of this book seems much less like a romantic endeavor and much more like mainstream porn. Rem and I went to the movies a few weeks ago and the preview for "50 Shades" came on and if I hadn't known what it was, I would have honestly thought that they were playing porn on the big screen. When did this become okay? Porn is absolutely destroying marriages around the world and here we are, paying our hard earned money to read and watch it. Women, whom I'm sure oppose their husbands watching porn, are going to go out with their girlfriends and watch porn. I don't care if it isn't labeled as "porn," but I don't know what else to call it, because that's exactly what it sounds/looks like to me. Why are we sending the message that this is okay? I don't know any mother out there who would want her daughter to be treated like a mans sexual object, yet there are millions of people (mothers included. Why do you think it's been dubbed "mommy porn") buying this book (and eventually watching the movie.) Whether you like it or not, you are supporting the idea that it's okay for a man to treat a woman like this. You are supporting the idea that this is what sex should be like. You are supporting the idea that sex is purely a physical act meant for ones own pleasure. I don't know about you, but I want nothing to do with supporting that. I want to support sex for what God made it to be. Why are we sitting idly or even worse, buying into the idea that "it isn't hurting anything to read/watch this," because it is. It is ruining what sex could be, SHOULD be, and I'm sick of it! We are trading in something that is meant to bring joy and be an amazingly bonding experience for a cheap, dirty version of itself. I'm not sure about you, but if my husband were to give me a five carat diamond ring from Tiffany's and then take it away and try to convince me that the fake diamond ring from the dollar store was just as good because it is "still a ring," I would feel a little cheated. This is how I feel about what society has done to sex. They have tried to convince us that the fake diamond ring (pre-marital, only about the physical, sex) is just as good, if not better than, the real diamond ring (holy, God ordained sex), and for some crazy reason, we believe them. If someone gave you a fake diamond ring and tried to convince you it was just as good as the real thing, you would throw it back in their face and tell them how wrong they are, so why aren't we doing this when it comes to sex? We are settling for the cheap version and convincing ourselves that it is the greatest thing on earth. I can tell you from experience that having sex for the reasons the world says is nothing compared to having sex according to Gods will. So I'm begging you, if you have read this book and are planning on seeing this movie, PLEASE don't support the worlds view of what sex should be. Realize that ,yes, sex is awesome and amazing and hot and passionate but it's not awesome and amazing and hot and passionate in this context. If you aren't married, don't fool yourself into thinking that the worlds view of sex is the right view. If you are married, don't fool yourself into thinking that there is no harm in watching this. There IS harm, because you are helping fuel the fire that says "married sex, the way God ordained, doesn't matter." I wish more women would stand up and say, "I won't support the objectifying of women by reading/watching this book/movie." I'm just so sick of seeing sex turned into something it was never meant to be and the cheapening of something that can be so amazing. There's my rant. I'm sure I offended some people but oh well, I'm sick of so many women buying into the "50 Shades of Grey," phenomenon.

What Food Makes the Cut?

My grocery list is probably the most boring grocery list in the history of grocery lists. It changes very little from week to week. When you are eating mostly fruits, vegetables, lean meats, and whole grains, there really is no need to have a completely different list every single week. It really does make shopping a whole lot less complicated when I just have to fill in ingredients for what we need to make supper throughout the week. If I took a picture of my shopping cart every week, you would probably find that it looks pretty much the same every single week, and I'm okay with that! It may not sound like much variety, but it really is! I always have MANY choices of fruits and vegetables so we aren't just eating apples and carrots throughout the week and getting really tired of them. I find it really helps us to eat well if we have a variety of food stocked in our house, not to mention, saves us money since we aren't running to the store every other day to pick up more food. I know I covered this in previous posts but I honestly can't stress the importance of meal planning enough. If you want to eat healthy, you MUST have a plan and have those foods right in your own home or you WILL opt for something that is usually a lot less healthy, like fast food or a frozen dinner. Here's what my "plan" usually looks like (foods that always (or almost always) make it into my grocery cart some time during the month, many on a weekly basis).

-Apples (green and red)
-Bananas
-Grapefruit/Clementines
-Kiwi
-Fresh Pineapple
-Pears
-Any type of fresh berry that 's on sale (strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, raspberries)
(Winter is hard for fruit, I love the variety that summer brings)
-Frozen peaches, strawberries, blueberries, or pineapple (for smoothies)
-Carrots
-Celery
-Sweet Potatoes
-Fresh/frozen broccoli
-Red, yellow, & orange peppers
-Asparagus
-Fresh/frozen green beans
-Frozen peas
-Boxes of organic spinach, kale, or mixed greens (spinach, kale, and chard) (use for smoothies & salads)
- Lettuce (rotate between romaine, butter, spring mix, iceberg)
-Avocados
-Onions
-Lemons and limes
-Salsa
-Hummus (red pepper or roasted pine nut are our favorites)
-Whole milk (hormone free)
-Almond milk (unsweetened, original)
-Greek Yogurt (plain)
-Block cheese
-Butter (unsalted)(NO butter substitute, REAL butter)
-Olive oil
-Coconut oil (I buy this in bulk at Sams)
-Steel cut oats
-Old fashioned oats
-Natural peanut butter
-Almond butter
-Granola
-Quinoa (buy in bulk at Sams)
-Honey (I love raw or local honey, but sometimes I have to buy it at the store because we go through a lot of it, just make sure it doesn't have any added ingredients)
-100% pure maple syrup (buy in bulk at Sams)
-Chia seeds (buy in bulk at Sams)
-Flax seeds (order online)
-Whole chicken (use meat throughout the week and make chicken stock from bones)
-Wild caught salmon
-Ground beef from our local locker
-Whole wheat flour
-Organic marinara sauce (I choose organic because it has the least amount of added sugar)
-Dry black beans and pinto beans (I cook them in my crockpot to use them)
-Canned organic beans (garbanzo, black, pinto)(at Aldi, I can get organic for the same price as conventional at Walmart and they have less added junk)
-Unsweetened applesauce (great for baking)
-There are other things that I add depending on what my meals look like for the week but these are things we eat on a very regular basis.

Things that do NOT make it into my cart (mostly because of added sugar/sodium or fake ingredients/tons of preservatives, or being overly prosessed)
-Any pre-packaged snacks (little debbie snacks, fruit gummy snacks, pudding cups, etc.)
-Margarine, or anything that tries to impersonate butter (NEVER NEVER NEVER)
-Pancake "syrup"- Mrs. Butterworths etc. (if it has more ingredients than 100% maple syrup, don't buy it)
-Pre-packaged oatmeal
-Flavored yogurt
-Soda, gatoraide, capri sun, juice boxes
-Most salad dressings (I either make my own or there is one brand at Aldi that is all natural and doesn't have a bunch of weird junk it them: Specially Selected House/Raspberry vinaigrette)
-American cheese slices (like kraft)
-White bread
-Any frozen meal (chicken nuggets, corn dogs, frozen pizza, etc.)
-Pre-packaged granola bars (some have as much sugar as a candy bar, yikes!)
-Seasoning mixes (ranch, chili, taco, etc. I just make my own)
-Most fruit juice (too much sugar and all the beneficial fiber removed. My kids are fine with water.)
-Hot dogs/Processed lunch meat
-Canned soups
-Sugary cereals (this is not to say we don't have this in the house. HA! I just won't buy it. Rem loves the stuff so I make him buy it. I'm a terribly mean wife, I know!)
-Low fat ANYTHING
-White rice/boxed rice mixes (rice a roni etc)
-Any boxed meal (mac & cheese, hamburger helper, etc)
-Any artificial sugar or any product made with artificial sugar (you MUST read labels)
-Anything with MSG added to it
-I'm a big label reader. If it has tons of added sugar or weird ingredients (even if it claims to be healthy), I don't buy it. The biggest thing you can do to help you work toward a cleaner diet is simply read the label! I end up making a LOT of things myself, instead of buying them because we still enjoy eating some of those things, but we don't enjoy all the added junk that corporate food companies choose to add to their products.

YOU are the person responsible for what you bring home from the store and what you and your family put in your mouth. You don't NEED soda to survive. You don't NEED Oreos to survive. Yes, I know it tastes good but what are you getting out of it? A whole lot of calories and a few minutes of enjoyment while you are eating it. I'm not going to sit here and say that I NEVER drink soda because I did share one with Rem when we went to see a movie last week, but it is something that I choose not to keep in my house. It's SO much easier to avoid certain things if you don't keep them around you. I know some people will think I'm a complete control freak but Gavin is almost four and has never had a soda (besides a few sips of ours at a restaurant). It's not a habit I want my kids to grow up with and I just can't justify giving them straight sugar with absolutely no nutritional value. When they get older, they can decide for themselves what they want to eat or drink but for now, I am trying to instill good eating habits that they will hopefully continue throughout their lives. It's much harder to say no to something once it has become a habit. Why not try to start a habit of good eating while they are still young so it's not so hard to make good food choices as they grow up. My kids don't know any different. They don't think they are missing out because mommy won't buy junk food for them. They have no idea that there is another way of eating besides what they are eating right now. The other night, Rem was talking about McDonalds and how the boys have never even had a happy meal and Gav was asking what a happy meal was. I asked him what he thought would be in a happy meal and this was his response, "Chicken, blueberries, carrots, and bananas." To him, this would be a "happy" meal. I have had people say to me, "You are just setting your kids up to want all kinds of junk food because you never let them eat it." Here's my response: They do get plenty of treats. We go to birthday parties, I make cookies, we go for treats at the Dairy Queen every once in a while, they get treats at Nana and Papa's and Grandma and Grandpa's. It's not like junk food has never touched their lips, because it has. We just choose to not let this be an everyday occurrence. We want the majority of what they are eating to be highly nutritious to give their little bodies the fuel they need to grow. We want them to learn to make responsible food choices. There is no denying that kids learn habits from their parents and we just want to be a good example of making healthy food choices. If kids are used to eating chicken nuggets and french fries or boxed macaroni and cheese for supper often, then that's what they will become accustomed to and it will be very hard to change their tastes for more healthy foods. When they are used to overly salted, overly sugared, highly processed tasting food, plain veggies are going to taste absolutely disgusting to them. I didn't grow up eating a ton of processed foods but definitely more than I do now and when we first started to eat clean, some things were super hard for me to eat, I would almost have to choke them down. My kids on the other hand, have always eaten very clean and they love eating plain vegetables (Gav loves carrots and celery and Owen loves sweet peppers.) Their palates haven't become accustomed to tons of sugar, salt or artificial flavors and they can really appreciate the flavors of the fresh food they are eating. So no, I won't go out and buy my kids a happy meal or let them drink soda on a regular basis because other people make me feel like they are "missing out." I feel like kids who are used to eating like that are really the ones missing out. Their bodies are missing out on the vital nutrients they need to build strong immune systems, strong muscles and bones, and strong brains. So my kids are missing out on a whole lot of sugar and added junk......I'll take it. I'm sure a lot of people think I act like I'm the best wife/mom out there because of the food I choose for my family but I don't want to come across like that. I don't want people to think I judge the mom's who pull through the drive through or buy hamburger helper to feed their families. I just want to share what I have learned about healthy eating and the benefits I have seen in my own family. It's clear that the way that most American's are eating isn't doing much for their health. We have astronomical numbers of people with high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, cancer, ect. and many of these issues could be fixed simply by making smarter food choices. It's almost like people think it's too much work to start eating a clean diet and exercising and would rather choose to be on pharmaceutical drugs for the rest of their lives (which carry MANY risks as opposed to the low to no risk of changing what they are eating.) Instead of focusing on what you CAN'T eat, why not focus on what you are GAINING by NOT eating a bunch of processed junk. When you go to the store this week, buy a new healthy food you have never tried before. Replace the pre-packaged things you are buying with a healthy, homemade version. Instead of buying that box of sugary cereal, buy some steel cut oats and make homemade oatmeal. Buy veggies and hummus for a snack instead of pudding packs. There are so many options that don't take a lot of effort, you just have to try them. There really is nothing to lose by choosing healthier options. We all have to start somewhere, so why not make it now!?